Updated December 26, 2002
How to Get a Life
An internet friend had emailed this to me, he has
no life. I made a few modifications and have included them in
It's never easy to overcome innate nerd, a serious Internet addiction
(I did not know that),
or a hard - core computer gaming habit, but trying usually isn't
as painful as kidney stones. (ouch I hope not)Here's how:
1. Let go of the mouse.
2. Turn off the computer.
3. Play a game of solitaire with a real deck of cards. (Boring)
(Before I could play with the computer, and have back ground
4. Eat something other than taco chips.
5. Fart without recording it and putting it up your Web page.
6. Get some sleep in bed rather than on your keyboard. (That
key board gel pack is extremely soft when the head does make
7. Next time you wake up in the middle of the night to go to
the bathroom, don't tell everyone on your ICQ list about it.
(I never did before)
8. Open a window without turning your computer back on (yes,
it is possible). (What do you do if it is a Macintosh computer?)
9. Very gradually expose your eyes to increasingly bright light
so as to
avoid damage or permanent sun blindness.
10. When you feel prepared for a massive dose of non - CRT radiation,
welding goggles and go outside.
11. If you see someone, say "Hi" to them instead of
trying to make the modem
connect sound. (It is DSL/Cable no sound here)
12. Visit a friend that you haven't spoken to in years because
they don't have
an email address. (That poor soul, doesn't he no that you have
no life with out a computer.)
13. Have ".com" officially removed from behind your
name. Go on a date with
someone you didn't meet in a chat room. (Good plan mind you
Tom met his sweetie there)
14. (After you are bore from doing all of the above
come back to your mouse and key board. Where world travel is
possible, meeting your neighbor for the first time, and staying
in touch with friends who have moved into new cities or countries.)
**HAPPY NEW YEAR. ALL THE
BEST IN 2003**