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Updated December 26, 2002

How to Get a Life

An internet friend had emailed this to me, he has no life. I made a few modifications and have included them in brackets.
It's never easy to overcome innate nerd, a serious Internet addiction (I did not know that),
or a hard - core computer gaming habit, but trying usually isn't as painful as kidney stones. (ouch I hope not)Here's how:

1. Let go of the mouse.

2. Turn off the computer.

3. Play a game of solitaire with a real deck of cards. (Boring) (Before I could play with the computer, and have back ground music too)

4. Eat something other than taco chips.

5. Fart without recording it and putting it up your Web page.

6. Get some sleep in bed rather than on your keyboard. (That key board gel pack is extremely soft when the head does make contact.)

7. Next time you wake up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, don't tell everyone on your ICQ list about it. (I never did before)

8. Open a window without turning your computer back on (yes, it is possible). (What do you do if it is a Macintosh computer?)

9. Very gradually expose your eyes to increasingly bright light so as to
avoid damage or permanent sun blindness.

10. When you feel prepared for a massive dose of non - CRT radiation, put on
welding goggles and go outside.

11. If you see someone, say "Hi" to them instead of trying to make the modem
connect sound. (It is DSL/Cable no sound here)

12. Visit a friend that you haven't spoken to in years because they don't have
an email address. (That poor soul, doesn't he no that you have no life with out a computer.)

13. Have ".com" officially removed from behind your name. Go on a date with
someone you didn't meet in a chat room. (Good plan mind you Tom met his sweetie there)

14. (After you are bore from doing all of the above come back to your mouse and key board. Where world travel is possible, meeting your neighbor for the first time, and staying in touch with friends who have moved into new cities or countries.)